A new understanding of my confusion
3 Comments | July 29, 2007 at 1:32 pm by mahud
Filed under Sprituality, Christianity
Finding my spiritual path is not easy. What I know, or think I know, about the imminent and transcendent, is always a major influence on my thinking, but somehow I need to loosen my grip on my subjective projections onto everything, and try to elevate my thoughts and experiences to a different level. I need to embrace my ignorance positively, and not succumb to the chaos of agnosis.
The transition from a belief system that depends heavily upon correct understanding in order to gain admittance into the spiritual realms, to a place of uncertainty, is not an easy transition to make. It has taken me a few years to truly let go of my old beliefs, mostly because of fear of the consequence of being eternally separated from God. I found myself in a scriptural paradox that required me to trust I had the answers, while simultaneously maintaining that I was finite and incapable of knowing what they actually are1.
Knowing the answers to life, the universe and everything is of secondary importance to me now. What’s important is love, goodness, truth, and so on, that transcend the mechanics of the universe and it’s incomprehensible power source.
I still want to know the answers to the so-called big questions, but I’m no longer a follower of the path of Knowledge. We cannot know everything, but knowledge can be one among many tools and guides to lead us. Keep searching, but let the god’s, god/dess or the universe keep its unfathomable secrets. If you are due some enlightenment you will get it, and if not it’s not a problem. Don’t stress it.
In Broken Images
He is quick, thinking in clear images;
I am slow, thinking in broken images.He becomes dull, trusting to his clear images;
I become sharp, mistrusting my broken images,Trusting his images, he assumes their relevance;
Mistrusting my images, I question their relevance.Assuming their relevance, he assumes the fact,
Questioning their relevance, I question the fact.When the fact fails him, he questions his senses;
When the fact fails me, I approve my senses.He continues quick and dull in his clear images;
I continue slow and sharp in my broken images.He in a new confusion of his understanding;
I in a new understanding of my confusion.Robert Graves
- 1) In the Christian tradition, I understand that the Spirit is meant to guide us into all truth, but you still need to trust your own reasoning to believe that. It all comes back to your own capacity for truth and knowledge (Back).
