On the Threshold Between One Life Path and Another

5 Comments | January 7, 2009 at 7:22 am by mahud
Filed under Social Anxiety, Paganism, Sprituality

I was sad to learn via The Wild Hunt: Outgrowing Paganism? that the excellent Deo’s Shadow will no longer be podcasting. It’s been pretty obvious for some time that it was over. Now it is official

I’m a big believer that everyone whether they are secular or spiritually inclined are, in the larger scheme of things, on the right path towards whatever it is that their life is ultimately about. So, Mandy and Deo (and others) “outgrowing Paganism,” to my mind, is a good thing. If your current faith fails to enrich your life, maybe it is time to view the world from a different perspective and seek new experiences. And most likely there will be some spiritual treasures worth carrying over into the next phase.

From Christianity to Paganism

From the age of 22 I was a FULL-ON Bible Believing Christian, and at the time it was the right path for me. (Looking back, I think it was the beginning of The Fools Journey).

Since the age of 14 I had no real compulsion to live a moral lifestyle and always put myself before others. Although I’ve always had a compassionate streak, I was disconnected from my conscience. Christianity brought me into contact with the divine. Also it opened the gateway to other forms of religion and I also developed an interest in mythology. However my new belief caused me much suffering as my conscience started to kick in and for a long time I suffered both mentally and physically from guilt (I literally thought I was about to die it was that severe).

“Setting the captives free” is essentially what Christianity is about, but It took me a long while before I was cured of my guilt by the divine. Actually I consider the attainment of freedom to be aim of spirituality. Ethics/morals/golden rules, they just help point the way.

Jesus very much saw his mission from God as the fulfilment of Jewish Prophecy. And it was a mission to set people free from their sins [or to put it more positively: to reacquaint them with the divine]. Primarily, I think the people Jesus had in mind were prisoners of circumstances out of their control, and not so much people who were outside this circle of despair.

Cernunnos’ Path: Religion After Christianity?

I can related to that. I needed Jesus, because I suffered (still do) from a mental illness (SAD) that generally isn’t taken seriously. I had also transgressed the boundaries of my true nature. I desired to be transformed into the loving person I was meant to be, and for the greater part it worked. I no longer wilfully steal and cheat my friends, or my family. I want to live by a principle of love, and I owe this to Jesus’ words. He pointed me in the right direction.

As a Spiritual Teacher, I think Jesus was a man of his time, who was of prime importance to the needs of the society and times in which he occupied, but in the global society of today, his message and teachings no longer have the same import. And the Church injunction to be Christ’s witnesses over the face of the earth, and create a Global Christianity, is no longer (if ever) acceptable, in our multi faith world. Other religions can be just as life transforming as Christianity.

It is my belief that early Christianity and Jesus himself taught sexual equality, but were unwilling to let go of the old patriarchal myths and traditions, that gave the Church its authority as a new expression of faith, rooted in the Old Testament. And so, even today, woman are treated as second class Christians, who are within Christian traditions accepting the Bible as God’s word.

Cernunnos’ Path: My view of Christianity

After 10 years I found Christianity wasn’t working for me anymore. I ceased praying. I didn’t have anything to really pray about any more, or sense that anyone was actually listening I stopped reading the Bible as it had become unedifying, plus I no longer regarded the scriptures to be “God Breathed.” Another problem was I had no emotional connection with the crucified Christ. I watched The Passion of the Christ , but rather than feel empathy for Jesus, despite his unjust treatment, I felt a stronger emotional connection with Mary as a loving mother, unable to save her innocent child.

The transition from a belief system that depends heavily upon correct understanding in order to gain admittance into the spiritual realms, to a place of uncertainty, is not an easy transition to make. It has taken me a few years to truly let go of my old beliefs, mostly because of fear of the consequence of being eternally separated from God. I found myself in a scriptural paradox that required me to trust I had the answers, while simultaneously maintaining that I was finite and incapable of knowing what they actually are (In the Christian tradition, I understand that the Spirit is meant to guide us into all truth, but you still need to trust your own reasoning to believe that. It all comes back to your own capacity for truth and knowledge).

Cernunnos’ Path: A new understanding of my confusion

Wow Pagans!

Mid-2007 I discovered a few Pagan Bloggers (Thanks Kay!), and it wasn’t long before I had amassed a significant number of bookmarks. Soon I began asking questions (The Pagan Linkquision). By this point I had been studying mythology and some ancient History (reading many classical Pagan authors in the process) for 11 years, and I felt it would serve as a stepping stone into the Pagan community. As must be obvious by now (if you are a regular reader) my prime interest in mythology is regarding the so-called Dying and Rising God (or Goddess). Unwittingly I had already gleaned a fair amount of info relating to the Hellenistic Mystery Cults from the Bible (yeah, I know that’s kinda controversial. J.P. Holding would just love me) , and so “the Cosmic Mysteries” became the basis of my tradition-in-progress.

what really impressed me though was that…

Neo-Pagans seek to practice many forms of ancient religion, regardless the labels (ancient or modern) assigned to a particular practice doesn’t undermine the practice itself, as something reaching back and reclaiming the wisdom of our ancient ancestors, that over a thousand generations, had evolved naturally through a process of trial and error into something that worked. To me that’s the essence of Paganism.

…

Unlike a religious structure that enforces man made doctrines, Neo-Paganism recovers and encourages natural spiritual growth. Neo-Pagan Spirituality is constantly evolving and adapting to fit modern patterns of life.

Cernunnos’ Path: Authentic Paganism, Pre-Christian Ethics, and Organic Spirituality

“On the right path towards whatever it is”

In a response to a comment, Deo admitted that he “had no evidence for its truth, nor was I trained into it”, and in hindsight, he admitted “I don’t think that I had a good reason for choosing Paganism.” Many of the podcasts revealed Deo and Mandy’s scepticism, regarding certain pagan claims and practices.

I’m somewhat cautious myself when it comes to certain Pagan practises. I’m also a sceptic myself. However, I like to keep the eyes of my heart open to the possibility of religious truth. As a Christian I experienced the divine working in my life, and now I’m seeing the divine at work in my current path.

As yet my concept of divinity is largely undefined. I’ve read quite a bit on spell workings, but I haven’t engaged in it much, because I do not quite have the confidence that magic works (or I can work it). I meditate before an image of Cernunnos and make requests and offerings, but I’ve yet to meet him in person. Although yesterday I asked if he could help with a problem and he certainly obliged (for which, I owe Cernunnos an offering of ale). I also get incredible results through divination (Tarot), and studying the cards has been spiritually beneficial. My other major practice is meditation, but I’d like to write about that some other time.

“Surely I will come upon a crossroads that leads off in different directions”

Over time the spiritual architecture/landscape will change. Surely I will come upon a crossroads that leads off in different directions. I will let the revelation of the moon, the revealer and measurer of time, the wanderer, be my guide. I will take refuge in an abundance of cosmic blessings. Take time.

Cerunnos’ Path: Taking Time

I have no idea where my path will lead (who knows, perhaps back to Christianity. I’m open minded enough to consider that a valid possibility), but I’m going to take it slow and not rush into this ritual or that magical practice or suddenly start worshipping a pantheon of Deities, just to fit in with the wide world of Paganism. Whether I stay or go, I’ll always have a piece of the Pagan community with me. But the way things are going now, I’ll be sticking around for some time yet.